Hey Jude, You Made It Bad

Is there anybody going to listen to my story, all about the film I saw today ... ? (Or Wednesday night, to be more exact.) Across the Universe is director Julie Taymor's strange, strange movie set to the music of the Beatles (33 songs in all). To cut to the chase, it's a mess. A truly bizarre, unnecessary mess of a movie. Often it takes the really easy way to a cliche; for example, the lead characters are named Jude and Lucy, and there's another one named Prudence. Yes, this means you'll hear "Hey Jude" and "Dear Prudence" during the film. (Mercifully, "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" is saved for the end credits.) "Let It Be" is recast as a gospel song and sung during race riots and a funeral. And worse, "With a Little Help from My Friends" is sung by a bunch of drunk college students. The film goes from strange to stranger. And then Bono shows up to sing "I Am the Walrus," followed by Eddie Izzard singing "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite." And it's a long movie too (more than two hours). Sure, the songs are good, but they're not always the right fit and too often they feel forced into the story. I laughed out loud during "Revolution." And I didn't ever really buy that Evan Rachel Wood was doing her own singing. (On the other hand, Jim Sturgess, who plays Jude, makes a decent impression. And T.V. Carpio's version of "I Want to Hold Your Hand" is tender and sweet.) Can't say anything really makes Universe worth seeing. Nothing's gonna change my world, not least of all this movie. I'm giving it a D.