No One

Sometime in June 2005, I was asked at the Virgin Megastore on Newbury Street (before it was a lame Best Buy) if I wanted to buy a $1 wristband to support One, the organization founded by Bono to combat world hunger, poverty, and other global issues. I'm on record as saying I don't support hunger, so I said yes, and almost instantly, I put the wristband on my wrist. Over the years, people would ask me what the white wristband meant, and I would often use the same line: it's my way of identifying myself as a single person. That, or I'd say a census taker came by, saw I was single, and told me to wear the wristband. I enjoyed extending the story to explain that if I ever saw someone on the street wearing one of these wristbands, I'd know she was available and a potential mate. I guess it's safe to say that I supported the cause of ending my single status more than that of ending world hunger. And to that end, I always wore the wristband. Always. Annoyingly and unattractively so, it never came off. (Except for my sister's wedding, when she asked me to remove it. Hey, you don't mess with a bride.)

Well, this past weekend I finally took the wristband off. For good. No, it's not because I've started dating someone. And amazingly enough, its not because I realized the wristband was probably counter-productive to getting women to go out with me (though I suppose there may be something to that). It's just that, um, er, well, ah, I finally decided that the wristband's kinda lame. And I think everyone agrees because I never see anyone wearing any kind of wristband. Not white ones, not red ones — not even the yellow ones that were so ubiquitous a year or two ago. In fact, I don't think I ever saw another person wearing a white wristband in the entire three-year period I had one on.

But passing fad aside, what happened? Those yellow Livestrong bracelets were everywhere. Now they're nowhere. I'll admit, my wristband came off partly because it was just not cool anymore to wear it. But that's me and I'm lame like that. Where are all the other people who are less impressionable than me? What happened to their bracelets?