You're Sleeping Your Lives Away

Dear Marc and Ian,

I know how tough it must be to be two months old. After all, I was a baby once too, and I lived through it with your big sister, Abby. All you do is sleep, eat, cry, and poop, over and over again. Without even saying what you want, people pamper you and attend to your every need. Yes, I know. It's very hard work, and that's why you're always sleeping. But I have to tell you, boys: sleeping all the time means you're missing out on some really cool stuff.

For example, yesterday your mommy and daddy threw you a big "welcome to the world" brunch party. All kinds of people came to meet you — more than 100 relatives, friends, other children (lots of other children), and politicians were there. Yes, politicians. "Uncle" Joe, the senator, and "aunt" Hadassah were actually in the building (I saw them). There was a delicious spread of food: Cinnamon swirl French toast, blintzes, mac and cheese, lox, etc. There was even a tasty cake from Crumbs, your mommy's favorite cupcake place (mine too). Your big sister wore such a pretty dress, and she was beaming with pride whenever people asked about her little brothers. The place was decorated so well, with fancy tablecloths (you can thank your grandma for those), and balloons, and a personalized chocolate bar at every seat. Some beautiful things were said about where you got your names from. There was a lot of love in the room. People were happy and seemed to have a really good time. It was truly a special day. Your mommy and daddy did such a nice job putting it all together.

And because you guys slept through most of it, I just wanted you to know that you really missed out. Thankfully, I ate enough of the brunch food for the three of us, so don't worry about that. And I took a bunch of pictures for your mommy and daddy, so there's documentation of how great it all was. But next time, you're gonna have to be more involved.

Wake up!

Love,
Uncle Martin